Archive for the 'Bad Jokes' Category

How probably not to promote classical music

April 23, 2014

In the wake of yesterday’s “classical crossover” mishap, allow me to offer something to cleanse the palate: here is Mary Schneider, in a more innocent time.

How not to promote classical music

April 22, 2014

Dvorak’s “New World” symphony gets the MTV treatment. I can’t actually recommend that anyone watch this.

(Hat-tip: Booty shake: The Music Salon)

Lunch time

August 16, 2013

In a couple of weeks I am going to have to start packing a lunch every day for our daughter — and not just a lunch, but a lunch and two snacks! Naturally I’m dreading the onset of this particular obligation, and I’m doing my best to avert my eyes from the prospect of it continuing for 15 years.

But, as the Boy Scouts say, “be prepared”: I thought to look online for ideas for simple and nutritious meals that I could consider making for her. The very first article I found, from Canadian Family magazine, is called “15 School Lunch Ideas They’ll Love”. Sounds good, right? Their first suggestion is this:

Honey Cider Ricotta Fondue

Honey Ricotta Fondue with Fruit Dippers. 

For crying out loud.

If anybody cares to share ideas for simple lunches, you’re most welcome to leave a comment.

Feast of St. Sapphira

February 4, 2012

Today is the feast of St. Sapphira. She is a saint whom not many people know about. Are you one of them? Do you realize that you could be missing out on many blessings and good karma? Devotion to her could even help you earn big money working from home! Yes, really!

Some things ought not to be

November 13, 2011

Exhibit A.

I am so sorry.

A neutrino joke

September 26, 2011

Sent to me by a friend:

The barman said: “Sorry, we don’t serve neutrinos.” A neutrino goes into a bar.

Bach in Antarctica: audiovisual edition

February 13, 2011

Today we reprise an old favourite: Bach in Antarctica.

Inspired by the delightful absurdity of this concept album, I here provide my own variation on the theme. The video below is of the Prelude to Bach’s Suite for solo cello No.1, BWV 1007 and the audio link underneath it plays Adélie penguin calls. To experience my “mash-up”, which I call Suite for solo cello with penguins, one need simply play both simultaneously. The combination is dynamite. For best results, you may wish to turn the volume up for Bach and down for the penguins — but not all the way down, surely.

Bach (courtesy Mischa Maisky):

Penguins (courtesy Jungle Walk):

Sunday night novelty song

May 16, 2010

Today I found myself at an afternoon soiree with a very nice group of octogenarians.   A man with a guitar provided the musical entertainment, and we enjoyed singing along with classic tunes like “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary”, “Home on the Range”, and “All Shook Up”.  (Incidentally, it is a slightly surreal experience to sing Elvis songs with octogenarians.)  Anyway, the man with the guitar sang a song — a very corny novelty song — that I’d not heard before, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I enjoyed it so much that I have been singing it all evening, and driving my family crazy.  So I thought, “Why not enlarge the circle of love?”  The song is called “I’m My Own Grandpa”, and it goes like this:

Cats that look like Hitler

January 25, 2010

A new issue of First Things arrived today, and in the blog-y and sometimes whimsical “While We’re At It” section I read about cats that look like Hitler:

I think we can make it official: one can find anything on the Internet.

Christmas is coming

December 1, 2009

Nothing says Christmas like pickled mountain gourd music: